I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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