Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
he thought i was a dude.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
