Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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