Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
We smell like vodka and hangover
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