Its about making memories worth repressing
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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