I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize