im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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