i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
