What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize