glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
