I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
