It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
