I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
