Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I cockslap morals
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
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