i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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