I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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