remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
