uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
