bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
