she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
operation have a gay friend backfired
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize
