I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
