summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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