we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
