I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Why can't burritos get me drunk
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
