I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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