I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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