She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
