Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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