i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
