There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
