super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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