i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
