Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Randomize
