...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize