I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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