So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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