Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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