I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize