Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I'm always down for nudity.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
