just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
