the condom got lost in my hair
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
