So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
