My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Randomize
