Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
