Well now I have my semen on her headphones
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
