You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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