I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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