hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
