i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
