Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
