It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
My feet surprised me
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