You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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