my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
