I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
