it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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