Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
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