Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
