She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
