i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
