Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
