they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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