I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
